Our Story

The Library

In December of our sophomore year, Cat came into the library around midnight. Alex was working the late shift at the circulation desk, and Cat was coming to study for an upcoming organic chemistry test.

lol this story isn't right. we walked together from tanner's apartment where we'd been watching a movie

We chatted at the desk. We knew each other casually, and had spent some time together with friends. But this night Cat said, I'd really like to hang out, but I can't, I have to study.

Alex said, we could hang out after. He meant after his shift—which ended at 2:30 AM. Cat agreed.

At The Reed Canyon

At almost three in the morning, we walked to the canyon. We sat on a log by the canyon lake and talked, and talked, and talked.

Alex remembers Cat telling him about The Once and Future King, a book he hadn't read.

This set the foundation for our relationship: one built on discussion, breaking down ideas, understanding. Meandering, limitless sidenotes and tangents, but always returning to the main topics at hand.

The canyon lake still flowed into the creek, the light Portland rains kept falling, and life continued as it always had. But something had changed. What had adjusted was subtle: two people found between them an endless curiosity in the world, in each other, and a new way of moving forward.

From that point on, we moved quietly into each other's apartments and left each other's sides for as little time as possible.

Moving to Boston

After graduating, Alex got a job offer in Boston, MA, and moved in October 2016. Cat finished their final semester at Reed and moved to Boston 5 months later.

We lived in a tiny studio apartment for the first year, and Cat found work at a coffee and sandwich shop. Some days Alex would come and work in the coffee shop until Cat was off, and then we would walk home together. He’d often get a free sandwich out of it.

First Cat worked for three months at Starbucks, and had coffee-themed nightmares for weeks after starting.

We would drive out to visit the quaint little towns of Northeast, exploring historical places like Walden Pond, Lexington and Concord, and Salem, visiting many graveyards, and finding the best coffee and beer wherever we could.

One of our favorite coffee places ever, Little Wolf coffee, is in Ipswich, MA.

The Family Grows to Four: Rilke and Lucca

On Labor Day weekend of 2018, Lucca and Rilke joined the crew.

Lucca, a maine coon mix—who was mistaken by us and others for a raccoon in the house more than once—came into the house as a strong, independent explorer who lived on his own terms. But his desperate need for attention and connection soon overpowered him, and he quickly started rubbing his head against our legs—though we were not allowed to touch him freely!

Rilke, a ragdoll, entered our world beautiful, terrified, and helpless. He hid in the cabinets for almost three days, except to quickly sneak out to use the litter box under cover of night.

Lucca passed away earlier this year. His memorial can be found here.

A Train Ride

Alex doesn't remember this, but Cat does.

On the Boston T red line, we first discussed the pros and cons of getting married. It had occurred to us that we were nearing 26, and Cat would soon lose their health insurance. We discussed how difficult it would be if one of us ended up in the hospital and the other couldn’t come to visit, and how taxes would be affected.

Cat said, Well, is it going to happen? Alex said, Usually there has to be a proposal. That was when Cat began to think, maybe I should do something about it, then.

A Proposal

On the seemingly innocuous evening of Jun 3rd, 2019, Cat waited until we had finished eating dinner on the couch. We were watching Brooklyn 99 on Alex's laptop. Both the cats were sitting nearby. Cat said, Well, we're all here.

Alex, confused, said, what? What do you mean?

Cat clarified that they meant the two of us, and Rilke and Lucca. They were acting a little odd, slightly nervous and jittery.

Okay, Alex said.

Do you want to get married? Cat asked.

Alex surprised himself by asking, Are you proposing?

Cat remembers at first being worried that Alex wasn't happy to be asked. He was quiet, overwhelmed, and bashful. Alex has always liked big, brash proposals involving things like singing numbers and flash mobs, and often watches videos of them. But later, on another fateful night, Alex told Cat it was the best day of his life.

A mundane scene around 7PM on a Monday. We’d eaten dinner while watching TV on the couch, like so many other evenings. Life seems always to interleave the mundane and the big. After the proposal, like we so often did, we walked about 30 minutes to one of our favorite places, Remnant Brewery, where we celebrated and discussed over moon-themed beers.

A Wedding

On October 29th, 2019, Cat and Alex dressed up, Cat in a dress that belonged to their maternal grandmother, and Alex in a suit with a matching tie. Cat’s mother had come into town, and the three of us went to the Cambridge City Hall, where we were married by a Justice of the Peace, who declared us partners.

Afterward we went to one of our favorite restaurants, Forage. It was a small affair, and again, remarkably and wonderfully mundane.

Back to Portland

When covid hit in 2020, we were in a small studio apartment. Alex's work went fully remote, and Cat had already transitioned to writing full time. We decided to move back to Portland to be closer to friends, Cat's family, and live in a relatively lower cost of living area.

Since returning, we've enjoyed Portland immensely. We love the rainy days, the community, the coffee, the bars, the food, the friends, the family.

Today

Today (2025) we live in northeast Portland. We walk to a bar 2 to 3 nights a week and tell each other about whatever book or article we read that day. Working through life together, trying to make sense of its oddities, challenges, and pleasures.

It's not clear we know what we’re doing, or that we’re always doing things right, but at the very least, it's fun to do with another person—particularly you.